{"id":332,"date":"2004-09-29T10:20:00","date_gmt":"2004-09-29T17:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.preposterousuniverse.com\/blog\/god-a-poem\/"},"modified":"2004-09-29T10:20:00","modified_gmt":"2004-09-29T17:20:00","slug":"god-a-poem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/preposterousuniverse.com\/blog\/2004\/09\/29\/god-a-poem\/","title":{"rendered":"God, A Poem"},"content":{"rendered":"

By James Fenton<\/a>. <\/p>\n

A nasty surprise in a sandwich,
\n
A drawing-pin caught in your sock,
\n
The limpest of shakes from a hand which
\n
You’d thought would be firm as a rock,<\/p>\n

A serious mistake in a nightie,
\n
A grave disappointment all round
\n
Is all that you’ll get from th’Almighty,
\n
Is all that you’ll get underground.<\/p>\n

Oh he said: ‘If you lay off the crumpet
\n
I’ll see you alright in the end.
\n
Just hang on until the last trumpet.
\n
Have faith in me, chum-I’m your friend.’<\/p>\n

But if you remind him, he’ll tell you:<\/p>\n

‘I’m sorry, I must have been pissed-
\n
Though your name rings a sort of a bell. You
\n
Should have guessed that I do not exist.<\/p>\n

‘I didn’t exist at Creation,
\n
I didn’t exist at the Flood,
\n
And I won’t be around for Salvation
\n
To sort out the sheep from the cud-<\/p>\n

‘Or whatever the phrase is. The fact is
\n
In soteriological terms
\n
I’m a crude existential malpractice
\n
And you are a diet of worms.<\/p>\n

‘You’re a nasty surprise in a sandwich.
\n
You’re a drawing-pin caught in my sock.
\n
You’re the limpest of shakes from a hand which
\n
I’d have thought would be firm as a rock,<\/p>\n

‘You’re a serious mistake in a nightie,
\n
You’re a grave disappointment all round-
\n
That’s all you are, ‘ says th’Almighty,
\n
‘And that’s all that you’ll be underground.’<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Please rest assured that Mr. Fenton is a Major Poet, even if the above example of his work does seem like something Eric Idle should be singing.
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By James Fenton. A nasty surprise in a sandwich, A drawing-pin caught in your sock, The limpest of shakes from a hand which You’d thought would be firm as a rock, A serious mistake in a nightie, A grave disappointment all round Is all that you’ll get from th’Almighty, Is all that you’ll get underground. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-332","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellany"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/preposterousuniverse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/preposterousuniverse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/preposterousuniverse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/preposterousuniverse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/preposterousuniverse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=332"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/preposterousuniverse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/preposterousuniverse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=332"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/preposterousuniverse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=332"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/preposterousuniverse.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=332"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}