Last week, members of the Caltech community received a dreaded piece of email: a student had taken their own life. The tragedy was compounded by the fact that this was the third Caltech student to do so in the last year.
Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among college students. In the aftermath of such an event, there is a feeling of powerlessness; you try to console or sympathize with anyone who might have known the student, but at the end of the day there’s no much you can do. But it is possible to take some steps to try to prevent such tragedies from happening.
It is believed that, in over 80 percent of cases, people who attempt suicide are struggling with some form of mental illness, such as depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia. Although there is no way to know for sure whether someone is contemplating such a drastic step, there are certain warning signs, including severe depression and changes in mood or habits. Caltech has set up a website on preventing suicide and violence, which goes over some of the signs and ways that a friend can take steps to help persuade someone from going too far:
I’m sure that many universities (and companies) have similar resources; it’s worth taking a minute to familiarize yourself with what’s available where you work or go to school.
Most importantly, if you’ve ever contemplated suicide yourself: don’t do it. That’s cheap and easy advice, but the crucial point is to make sure you stop, talk to people, and take advantage of counselors. Being a college student can be an extraordinarily stressful and pressure-filled time; if you’re feeling overwhelmed, be assured that it’s not just you, and that it is possible to get through it. You will find people who are willing to listen, understand, and try to be helpful, if you are willing to reach out to them. Tough times can be overcome, but taking a life is irrevocable. Seek help before the pressure gets to be too much.
As professors, there is one small thing we can do to work towards a change in the culture, and that is to move away from the “look how clever I am I can solve all the problem sets” machismo, which of course is particularly bad at places like Caltech and MIT. The truth is that problem-solving is a very minor part of research, and facility in that frequently pointless activity is an *extremely* poor indicator of excellence in physics or mathematics. A great many problem sheets I see contain senseless problems that are included *only* because they are difficult to solve. I once tutored for a course on Special Relativity, and the problem sheets consisted of endless idiotic problems about tanks falling into ditches, “lab frames”, and all that dreck. One student handed in homework in which he had solved few of the problems, but in each case he had made an effort to translate the problem into Minkowski space language, and at the bottom he wrote, ” I thought SR was basically about flat spacetime, not tanks in ditches?”
I gave him an A+ .
If we cultivate an ethos where solving problems was subordinated to discussions aiming for a deep understanding of the material, we might [in the long run] end up with a more civilized atmosphere in our classrooms, and fewer students feeling inadequate because they can’t solve some stupid problem that should never have been set in the first place.
Given the notorious reputation of the Caltech academic program, have y’all considered hosting a career day consisting of people who have flunked out only to go on to fabulous careers? It might help break some of the kids out of tunnel vision.
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The best thing that professors can do to help this situation is to stop being total pricks. Quite simple really. I have heard on more than one occasion Professors *openly admit* that they treat their students horribly or completely ignore them. But they rationalize this as “doing the student a favor”. In their minds they are doing the students a favor because the road to academia is so hard that if they can’t deal with the abuse now then it is better they become aware of it sooner than later….truly twisted! But this is how a LOT of professors think and openly admit!
Some of the faculty in academia are truly disgusting. But because they are “renowned” the department will take absolutely no action against them no matter how badly they treat their students. It is pathetic how other academics grovel in the presence of “renowned” physicists no matter how obnoxious they are.
And don’t be alarmed only when someone commits suicide. There are many *living students* who are miserable beyond belief. Just because they don’t commit suicide doesn’t make their nightmare any less real…they are simply able to tolerate abuse more than the ones who commit suicide.
I seem to have triggered an epidemic of “blame the profs”. That was not my intent. But it does seem like Caltech this year and in the past has more than its share of suicides. Somebody ought to try to figure out why.
The military has a problem with suicides, and have mounted a massive program to educate everybody in prevention, from general to private to civilian. Numerically, its suicide rate is miniscule compared to Caltech’s. That doesn’t seem right, even if this year is a fluke. University should not be more stressful than repeated deployments to combat.
I’d be willing to bet that a certain percentage of those suicides were because they were struggling with homosexuality in a society that constantly pounds out the message that they are doomed to a lake of fire for all eternity and if they escape that, they’ll be dead of AIDS by the time they’re 30 and if they escape THAT, they’re going to grow old and be utterly alone, because of course, gays & lesbians only exist for sex, not love.
I’ve been suicidal since I’ve been consciousness, a constant yearning for The Big Sleep has never ever left me. I’ve not taken a huge overdose of Nembutal only because my parents are still alive. I’m not depressed, I’m not stressed out, I’m not any of those things. What I am is bored, bored to fucking tears with how grindingly dull and pointless and futile life is. No amount of sex or drugs or money or accomplishment or having a nice meal with a good friend or watching a great episode of LOST or hearing a kick-ass Phish show or the Angels winning the World Series again/the Canucks finally winning the Stanley Cup or any of the other things I use to stave off weltschmertz will get rid of that.
George Sanders suicide note: Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck.
I *heart* George Sanders.
During the time I was at Caltech, I was in the middle of that period of my life when I would make a resolution every January 1 not to kill myself that year. I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions, but I obviously kept those. Why did I feel at risk? Because I was an outlier and a square peg in a world of round holes. Even stranger, things did not “click” into place magically when I got to Tech, although I had really, really hoped they would. The other kids at Tech were a lot like me, but not quite. I dealt with it, but not drastically. Besides, each year my resolution renewal was reinforced by the fact that my grandmother would be distraught if anything were to happen to me. (Odd that I was more concerned about her feelings than any other family member’s.)
I gradually outgrew the give-it-all-up impulse, but there was at least a ten-year period when I was on constant guard. Weird, huh?
Speaking as someone who is pondering taking their own life…
I think that Sean’s remarks illustrate some common attitudes towards suicide which greatly discourage depressed people from talking to others. The core problem is that people assume that individuals who kill themselves have made a terrible mistake. They are unwilling to seriously consider the possibility that suicide may be the best option for some people.
This takes a variety of forms. People think that a person who committed suicide must have done so impulsively (hence the advice to stop and reconsider) or must have been too crazy to exercise rational judgment.
Many mental illnesses, such as schizophrenia, do seriously impair a person’s capacity for rational judgment. However, it is much more problematic to claim that depressed people suffer from “mental illness” and thus cannot exercise rational judgment. Surely it is possible for mentally healthy people to be unhappy, even severely miserable. Now, perhaps it is possible to define mentally-unhealthy-depression in a way that is distinct from mentally-healthy-misery and to distinguish these conditions based on some objective criteria. But most people don’t even attempt to make this distinction. Instead they simply assume that every unhappy person who commits suicide was depressed in a judgment-impairing manner and thus made a huge mistake.
Talking to people who assume that you are severely irrational is alternately frustrating and humiliating.
Sean recognizes that people with extreme incurable pain might quite sensibly want to kill themselves. There plenty of ways to be miserable other than physical pain. As for myself, I’d gladly trade my miseries for quite a lot of physical pain.
I’ve been watching the Armed Forces Network (military TV) recently, and there are a lot of informational spots about suicide being the second leading cause of death in the Marines. Oddly, while these commercials urge soldiers to immediately seek help if they or somebody they know is suicidal, not a single one has listed out the signs and symptoms of suicidal tendencies. Odd, since there are some very well established warning signs about which it would be easy to educate people.
Quarks, DNA, path integrals, chemical reactions, excellent students, great researchers, bad students, whatever…! our health/life is always much more important than all that is found on the campus… seek help, if you feel displaced.
I know that Neptune does not even finish one “lap” around the Sun and all the human beings currently living are dead. But hey, lets not hurry up.
Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among college students
While this is sad, I wonder whether this is specific to college students? I suspect it’s just the age group. At that age, you likely die either from an accident or by suicide. Statistics anybody?
Btw, please read carefully what “random physics student” says above. There is in fact research showing that it’s depressed people who see the world more rational (see Depressive Realism), so be careful when you try to appeal to a person’s rationality, you might be doing exactly the wrong thing.
There are certainly many bad reasons to take one’s life, one of the most common problem that I’ve seen is the attempt to get attention. People who talk about committing suicide might eventually feel like they have to do it just because they announced it. That’s a real problem. Never, ever make fun about somebody who talks about jumping out a window. On the other hand I think that the one and only thing that really belongs to a person is their life, and it’s up to them what they want to do with it. Unless you have good evidence that they might be subject to a temporary and curable confusion of mind, suicide is their decision.
random physics student: while I understand what you are saying, I would hope that, from a purely rational point of view, you would consider the evidence of countless numbers of people who have felt suicidal at one stage of their life, but have come through it and lived to later be very thankful that they are still alive.
I mean, doesn’t it make sense that this is why virtually everyone thinks suicide by a physically healthy young person is a tragedy: because we know from widely reported experience that unhappy people (whether from a chemical imbalance in the brain, or as a “rational” reaction to a really bad situation) don’t have to – and virtually never do – stay that way all of their lives.
You have to remember too, I think, that rationality in matters of human experience is not like a set of train tracks that lead to an inevitable conclusion. There is often more than one possible response to a situation that is arguably “rational”, but you have to really examine how your own conclusion is reached (including what assumptions both obvious and not so obvious are involved) to be able to say whether it is the wisest response out of a set of possible, rational ones.
As I say, the possibility, indeed likelihood, of a end to current troubles is a very powerful and rational argument against suicide.
As a former Caltech student and currently in the military, these suicides have affected me even though I didn’t know all three individuals. One of my peers who graduated with me also committed suicide the year after we graduated, and I have always wondered why he did it. He was one of those people who excelled easily, even at tech, kind of shy and quiet, but he had a small group of close friends (a couple of which went to the same grad school). No one I knew saw it coming, not even his girlfriend.
The military requires an annual suicide prevention training for everyone, but you can listen to their training and watch for those signs…but when you still can’t prevent the tragedies…it just hits you each time that maybe there isn’t anything you can do…and THAT is quite depressing.
Random physics student: You say, “They are unwilling to seriously consider the possibility that suicide may be the best option for some people.”
That is true indeed. For people in untreatable physical pain, or perhaps people paralysed from the neck down. Not for you.
As someone who [when a physics student] made a serious suicide attempt, and as someone who has seen his wife die under horrendous circumstances, I can tell you that I will *not* do away with myself as long as I can get up and walk. Because no matter how bad things get, I can always get up and walk out. Start life again somewhere else. Get on a plane to Cambodia and teach English for a living. That option is just as real as suicide, and it is always there. Repeat after me: if things get really intolerable, I will get up and walk out. There is a world elsewhere.
The people who say suicide is never an option are the ones who are irrational. Because people are irrational, no matter how bad things get they will cling to “life is precious” nonsense. Even if they meet someone whose entire family was killed, has no means of supporting herself, is badly beaten, raped, disfigured, and disabled, and has no prospects whatsoever in the future…you will still have irrational morons come and say…hey, “life is precious”, “you will get through this”. Highly irrational! Stupid people are often the happiest! Ignorance is bliss!
Furthermore, irrational people will be swayed by the silliest thing and avoid suicide. For example, if the woman described in the above paragraph were to be sitting on a hillside watching the sunset…if she were irrational, she would conclude something like “wow, the sunset is so beautiful…this alone is reason to live! yay!” Only an irrational person can forget all the problems in their lives because of a stupid sunset and avoid suicide. Seriously, stupidity is the key to happiness.
Sean, I am very grateful that you posted on suicide. Caltech’s slide show is excellent, as well. Send it to everyone you know. I made a suicide attempt several years after college.
Yes, “seek help” is cheap and easy advice, but it is still very important to give it. Everyone should know how and feel comfortable talking to someone about their problems. However, efforts to encourage depressed people to seek help don’t work for people currently at risk of suicide. Potential suicides are not “willing to reach out.” They are generally beyond self-help. That is why the institutional aspect is crucial to preventing suicide.
The last slide says it well: Everyone is part of the safety net. Be alert and aware. Communicate your concerns (about someone else) to someone who can help.
Also, telling someone at risk of suicide to buck up, look at the bright side, you have all these things to live for, etc. will likely make the person feel worse. They can’t believe these things. Pointing out why they should feel good only highlights how differently they feel about the situation. (There is lots of research showing that people with low self-esteem feel worse when told positive things about themselves) The best thing to do is talk to a mental health resource about the person.
Hi Sean,
Thanks for starting this important discussion. My perception reading the comments is that there is a significant difference between the comments made by the people with direct experience of suicide and those without. The latter tend to talk about abstract mental models of the situation which may or may not be relevant. The former speak from experience and for me at least are much more compelling and insightful, and I thank them for commenting since I suspect it is much harder for them to speak out and yet they potentially offer the deepest understanding.
My other, slightly off-topic, comment is that for me this discussion is the tragic tail of a much more general problem in academia – the lack of balance, for want of a better term. This applies quite generally from students to professors and which reflects in the harsh attitudes of some professors along the lines of “I made it through that hell and I turned out OK/great, so it can’t be that bad/is good”.
As a final note: if we select as professors those who have excelled in the highest-pressure, competitive academic environments around, are we surprised when they have little or no understanding or empathy – yet alone sympathy – for those who are struggling?
I point to an up-coming workshop on this aspect of the problem:
http://sites.google.com/site/worklifebalanceinastronomy2009/
Bruce
Thanks for blogging about this, Sean. Although we haven’t had 3 in the last year, Cornell’s had its problems with suicides over the years because of its location amid the gorges.
boomer: You call a lot of people “irrational” in your comment. You say ignorance is a bliss, etc. I agree that some people live in “bubbles” and think that the world is… is just …”very happy” ! We know that this is not the case. But problems arrive for these people too (for sure!) and then they will have to “prove” themselves.
Suicide is always an option, of course. But you neglect (rational!) people that suffered a lot in life, in many ways, and chose to live (and perhaps make difference and be happy as possible). I bet there are millions of examples around (e.g., see the great post by steve above!). Personally, I like these stories and not the ones about suicide. I give much more credit to these people rather than the ones that gave up everything.
p.s. And yes, I forgot to mention, I passed several hard problems in my life. A new one (big, unfortunately) just arrived.
As a former undergrad at CalTech (early 2000s) I have seen the worst and the best of the acedemic and social systems there. I love and I hate CalTech.
Academia
1. Solving difficult problems doesn’t teach one science-it just tires one out. Subsequently, I discovered that simple problems can bring out insight and lasting understanding that are completely lost in reduandant, convoluted computational tricks. And thus, when solving a problem, I always return to my 5-th grade learnings and move from there. There goes my highly-recognized advanced degree!
2. Having professors who’d rather be doing research is not inspirational. I’d rather work with people who see me as a future contributor, and not as a dummy monkey that can be trained to type. The one thing that absolutely lacks in Caltech is the one-on-one with professors, the discussions…Everything is set in stone! Devine inspiration!
3. But it is exactly that highly recognized degree that go me through to good outside-the-bubble folks. The experience was so bad for me that I learned to love my outside-of-the-bubble normal life today! Thank you Caltech.
4.Caltech collects a lot of bright people. And just for that, even though enough are arrogant, it is still worthwhile acquainting them.
Social Growth:
1. Given that overwhelming amount of time is spent either crunching numbers or soldering things in a lab, there is not much to say about social activities.
2. But what was hidden from me for three years was uncovered in my last year there. There is plenty to do, to get you out of the academic pressure, even for a few hours a day, or a week. And this could be enough. There are excellent music programs open to everyone. There are excellent athletic programs, also open to everyone. There are volunteer opportunities open to everyone. And everything is so open to everyone, it is stunning that it is so difficult to learn about these opportunities. I did not know how to swim, and I learned. I couldn’t say the difference between feel and fill, and now I can. I didn’t know how to tie-die, now I know. There is a lot to do besides academia, and if the balance is discovered, life at CalTech can be a bliss. It is just that balance is not the priority at that school. But it should be the bible-lecture not only there, but everywhere.
Once experience is above mental development. It’s physical, emotional. True, there are enough nutty nobel prize winners, but not all prize winners are nuts. There are enough perfectly normal people among them, and maybe CalTech’s admission should start remembering that…
Hendrix: I was simply responding to all the people on here commenting that suicidal people are “mentally ill” or “irrational”. This is highly annoying and I needed to point out that a lot of suicidal people are of sound mind and judgement and know what they are doing.
Furthermore, it is the ones who keep repeating that “things will get better” and “life is beautiful” ad nauseam that are actually irrational…a lot of these people are religious and hold out hope that god will come and perform some miracle to make everything ok…or usually they forget their problems after seeing a beautiful sunset feeling suddenly “enlightened” about the beauty of life; even though it has nothing to do with their problems. These same people go around calling suicidal people irrational which is just laughable.
boomer: ok… I see your point. I agree with parts of it.
A young person’s suicide may be the best choice for some individuals, but it’s seldom the best choice for the family, for societies, or for civilization. I worked that out as a 13-year old, setting in a maple tree with a rope around my neck. I’m 61 now and have almost never regretted not jumping.
I am not being the least bit flippant or ignorant when I say that people in academia, teachers and students, should all see the 1985 film Real Genius.
The film revolves around very smart students at a high-pressure university (modeled on Caltech ironicall enough) who finally say screw it to the very same problems listed in this thread. The main character is seen as a goofball slacker but the truth is, he probably saved his own life and those of his fellow students.
Remember when learning was fun? Seeing what I know about academia makes me glad I never went into it. I might not have been suicidal but become more proactive in my reaction.
As a recent grad of Caltech (two months ago), I find that faculty members are not only part of the solution, but are part of the problem. They know which colleagues are abusive and still they do nothing to police their own. Until faculty members step up to the plate, the suicides will continue. The most current lab to have a grad student commit suicide had an attempted suicide a few months back. Members of the faculty certainly knew this and did nothing to institute any sort of safety net. Caltech is a stressful place as it is. I recognize that some students can’t handle the stress very well, but it does not help when faculty members are adding to the stress by either not being supportive or being downright abusive.