15 thoughts on “Candied Bacon Martini”

  1. Hurrah for an equally discerning lexicographical and alcoholic distinction that I for lo these many years felt like I was the only one waging. Is a whisked pan of eggs and milk a pizza? ‘Tis not. Is a squirt of jelly down the middle of a long thin bun a hotdog? Methinks the answer is no.

    I bristle at all these bars and restaurants I go to with “_______ Martini” where the first word is ultimately negating of the second. Chocolate. Dirty. Fruitastic. Whatever. The Wife calls me a stickler, but I hold firm in this.

    Not as firm as you. I will grant the vodka variations that extend to subbing vodka for gin and a lemon twist for an olive, but that is the sole extension I provide. While I lean toward the austerity of the mere hint of gin, the google image search variety is a bit more saharan than I’ll go for usually.

    It’s been many a year since I’ve had a martini, in part because most bartenders are too debased and depraved to learn the appropriate and proper technique * and also because making them at home usually ends with me being awakened by my spouse, who has had to crouch under the desk to find me. She’s surprisingly judgmental about that kind of thing.

    *For my druthers, the ideal martini is whisper dry and goes like so. A chilled martini glass, often submerged in ice up to the bottom of the cup. Remove glass. Fill with ice to rim. Pour in vermouth. Swirl around until icy vermouth has coated all inner glass surfaces. Pour out completely. Add tiny dollop of vermouth to very bottom of glass. Add in icy cold gin to near rim. Place gently inside one plastic spear of three smallish regular cocktail style olives.

    Heaven.

  2. Mmm, bacon…
    I just pulled a peameal bacon roast out of the oven, I can’t wait for it to cool a bit. I wasn’t going to eat any tonight but now I think I must. The bacon flowchart has convinced me.

  3. damnit, do we all read the same blogs? Cyn-C is my main evening-relaxing blog to go hit up some bacon-centric posts or adorable kittens mixed with just plain crazy things.

    So incestuous are we, even when non-science related?

  4. Oh, and as an aside: anyone who thinks pure vodka is basically flavorless has been ruining this delectable spirit for a long time. It should be frozen to a syrup, poured into a frozen glass, and enjoyed for its actual flavor while still neat. Anyone who makes mixed drinks from top shelf vodka should be strung up: if you’re just going to water it down with cranberry or orange juice, use something with a screw-top and a catchy name. Leave the good stuff for the rest of us.

    Same goes for whiskey: I’ma slap the next guy who orders a single malt on ice.

    Martinis I’m an old man for; 2-1 gin-vermouth, shake with ice, olive.

  5. Spiv, I hear you on the whisky. Whenever I see someone take an excellent whisky and toss some ice into it I die a little inside. So much has gone to waste because of that classic image of whisky in a tumbler over ice.

    and I agree about the vodka as well. Good vodka a very enjoyable experience and certainly not a completely flavourless one.

  6. Spiv & Travis: I love good vodka, preferably Russian, and also love vodka martinis, preferably with french vermouth.

    A big part of the problem in my experience is that “vodka” seems to mean something very different in America compared to Europe. In Europe, it is a subtle, sometimes robust, drink that quite definitely has a characteristic flavor. In America, however, Vodka seems to be to made as pure, neutral and tasteless as possible, with its appeal primarily depending on brand (e.g. Grey Goose).

    And sadly, it seems that most people in online discussions have only ever experienced the American version of vodka…

  7. Bacon chocolate is a resounding success. A candied bacon martini is something I would be willing to try, but probably only if someone else went to the trouble of making it.

    Bacon mints are simply a crime against nature.

  8. Travis, I hear your pain.
    Every time the waiter asks me if I want my Grand Marnier on-the-rocks, I flip ut.
    My hope is that those who drink it that way will ultimately do other stupid things and win Darwin Awards, leaving that much more of the Good Stuff for those who appreciate it.

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