Via Seed, a group of economists chose to study human relationship dynamics under tightly controlled conditions: speed dating. Emphasis added.
With the obvious qualification that we’re talking here about a four-minute version of love and dating, we found that men did put significantly more weight on their assessment of a partner’s beauty, when choosing, than women did. We also found that women got more dates when they won high marks for looks from research assistants, who were hired for the much sought-after position of hanging out in a bar to rate the dater’s level of attractiveness on a scale of one to 10.
By contrast, intelligence ratings were more than twice as important in predicting women’s choices as men’s. It isn’t exactly that smarts were a complete turnoff for men: They preferred women whom they rated as smarter—but only up to a point. In a survey we did before the speed dating began, participants rated their own intelligence levels, and it turns out that men avoided women whom they perceived to be smarter than themselves. The same held true for measures of career ambition—a woman could be ambitious, just not more ambitious than the man considering her for a date.
When women were the ones choosing, the more intelligence and ambition the men had, the better. So, yes, the stereotypes appear to be true: We males are a gender of fragile egos in search of a pretty face and are threatened by brains or success that exceeds our own. Women, on the other hand, care more about how men think and perform, and they don’t mind being outdone on those scores.
Men can be such wimps sometimes.
Damn, that was one awesome research assistantship.
Jerks.
Or you could frame, erm, interpret the results as saying that women are looking for men who’ll take care of them and be the provider in the relationship, whilst men are willing to take on the responsibility that women are not prepared to accept for themselves.
Oh, and you forgot to mention the part of the article that showed that women are more racist than men:
Why the lack of comment on this? What does mollishka have to say about it?
The mentioning of the allegedly fragile male ego begs for the question what IQ does a man need to realize a woman is smarter? See also.
A system which, if we go by, guarantees that the smarter men will end up preferentially dating less intelligent women (simply because there are more people in the middle than at the ends), leaving the smarter women out in the cold.
Me, I find intelligent women to be extremely attractive. But then, I’m smart myself, so I might not actually be breaking the stereotype at all.
Any intelligent woman who’s ever checked out the dating scene could have told you this, IMO…
That’s depressing. But then, I’d tend to reject men who were significantly less intelligent than me, so is that any better?
I’m a man that’s afraid of women w/ violent husband/boyfriend/biker/self.
Smarter than me is ok.
so is richer.
Of course it should be remembered that this for speed dating, presumably people does not form a complete idea of a person in four minutes.
I’d suspect that the result is almost entirely due to the participants not having time to use much more than stereotypes when judging the potential mate.
With that mindset it is more surprising that women kept to their own ethnicity, I didn’t know that was an stereotype.
does anyone know whether gay men have similar inclinations when choosing their partner?
I just *knew* after John’s marvellous piece on physics yesterday that you would have to reclaim the top item with some mindless trivia.
More physics and less frippery please Sean.
All I ask for is someone who is intelligent and respects my quiet time as much as I respect her’s.
That racial preference part seems entirely backwards. It seems like men of all races fall over themselves particularly for white, blonde women. I am a black woman and have dated men of several different races and would consider marrying any of them that fit my criteria. I might be an anomaly, I guess, but there seems to be a stronger preference for own race on the male side, apart from the strong preference from all of them for blondes. I’m observing this from Indianapolis mostly, so maybe that skews things.
I always go for the most beautiful myself – then I keep looking at him till I find something I dont like. Elective Affinities!cant help it !
You could have titled your post . Poor , non ambitious men are scary.. I am not a cheerleader for evolutionary psychology, but I think it has been proven beyond any anecdotal evidence, than women on average tend to prefer men with good providing potential , high confidence, and same age or older than themselves , among other traits, while men on average give more importance to looks, youth and “fidelity perception” . Sure, you mileage may vary, and a forty-something academic guy wont have the same preferences than your local McDonalds teenager, but see, thats the beauty of things, human variation. I guess that as much as we want to include a rational and politically correct flavor to mating selection, good old chap Darwin still gets it right about sexual selection being a blind, amoral evolutionary process .
I have to agree that anyone not freshly out from under their rock knew this ages ago, and I also would have to concur that this is a blade that cuts very easily both ways. I have had more than a few bright and attractive women (including my wife) tell me flat out they’d be hard-pressed to consider a man less intelligent/ambitious/wealthy than them for anything but a fling. He’d have to be one fine-lookin’ thang to even be in the running without the other goods.
Here’s a little clue: People of both genders tend to dislike rejection. Some might even go so far as to say it can hurt like Hell, and try to avoid it. So how might one expect the less-than-armadillo-skinned fellow with love on his mind to behave? Or gal, for that matter, if she’s not endowed with a pretty face and stacked like a brick house? The sins of “shallowness”, as we call it (as opposed to endogenous reproductive impulses), and the endless toll of anxiety that they cause, have left a coed trail of tears that stretches back to the dawn of…well, sex. We can learn to seek more than our basic mammalian urges dictate, but I wouldn’t be so harsh as to call everyone a “wimp” who finds it difficult.
Maybe this explains my fear of Eva Silverstein…
Off the top of my head, I can think of a couple of reasons for the bias:
(1) Unfortunately, there are either real or perceived career difficulties for smart women. This (naturally and unfortunately) leads to a “chip-on-the-shoulder” attitude in some smart women. It is not the intelligence that is unattractive. It’s the need to constantly prove this intelligence – the “anything you can do I can do better” attitude. Nobody wants a sense competition to be a part of their relationships.
(2) Many men are looking for femininity in a companion. The bias towards beauty is a reflection of that. Certain careers (many that we consider to be “smart jobs”) do not have a feminine image (science, economics, mathematics, etc). Unfair as that is, it is a fact. Women in these professions have the unfair burden of having to overcome the masculine image that comes along with their jobs. Again, it is not the intelligence here that is the issue. It is more of a historical bias rooted in stereotypes. I’m not sure men should be criticized for preferring femininity as a quality, though. I would guess that smart women who have an abundance of femininity (whatever that means) have much more dating success than those who do not. And I would guess that smart women in traditionally feminine careers do not feel this bias as keenly.
While skimming the article, I found no reference to differences between long term and short term criteria.
My gut feeling tells me that they would be very different in the case of men, but not for the case of women.
Every met the guy who will only date gorgeous women? Does he ever confide in you that he’s unlucky in love? Ever wanted to smack him upside the head for complaining about it?…
Sean and Jennifer,
Any advice to smart, straight, singles seeking partners?
Haludza — a few, like Larry Craig, seem to have a thing for men who wear uniforms, but sometimes act a little confused about their preferences.
so I’m brave for marrying an ambitious woman, instead of lazy? huzzah!
Sorry, citrine, I don’t really have any elegantly-packaged romance advice. Except to be honest, with yourself as well as with others, but you knew that already.