Conservapedia

Everyone is having their fun with Conservapedia, a rightward-tilting alternative to Wikipedia that aims to ensure that future generations of conservatives grow up really dumb. A mildly-close look reveals that the major biases of Wikipedia that made this new project worth launching are (1) their insistence in using “CE” (Common Era) rather than “AD” (Anno Domini) in giving dates, and (2) the occasional Anglicized spelling. For some great examples of the way self-professed conservatives view the world, see Jon Swift, or a roundup of sciencey responses by Mark Chu-Carroll.

Here are my personal favorites, after five minutes of clicking around. Links to specific versions, as they keep changing, of course. But these look sincere, not the result of vandalism by naughty liberals!

  • Atheism
    Atheism is the disbelief in the existence of any supernatural deity. This disbelief can take a number of forms, such as the assertion that deities do not exist, or the absence of any belief in any deity.

    Stalin and Richard Dawkins are prominent atheists. Dawkins wrote a book, called “The God Delusion”. Stalin is now dead, having killed millions of people in the name of Marxis-Leninism (which is predicated on atheism).

    Since atheists have no God, as a philosophical framework atheism simply provides no logical basis for any moral standard. They live their lives according to the rule that “anything goes”. In recent years, this has led to a large rise in crime[1], drug use, pre-marital sex, teenage pregnancy,[2] pedophilia[3] and bestiality.

The road from atheism to bestiality is shorter than you think!

  • Stalin
    Josef Stalin was an atheist communist Russian dictator during World War II. He was defeated by Adolf Hitler, despite Hitler also being an atheist.

That’s the entire entry. I can’t decide which is more amusing — the amazement that one atheist could defeat another in battle, or the judgment that Hitler defeated Stalin.

  • Albert Einstein
    Einstein’s work had nothing to do with the development of the atomic bomb. Nothing useful has even been built based on the theory of relativity. Only one Nobel Prize (in 1993 and not to Einstein) has ever been given that even remotely relates to the theory of relativity. Many things predicted by the theory of relativity, such as gravitons, have never been found despite much searching for them. Many observed phenomenon, such as the bending of light passing near the sun or the advance of the perihelion in the orbit of Mercury, can be also predicted by Newton’s theory.

Can’t make this stuff up.

  • Anything Goes
    “Anything Goes” is the title of a 1934 musical production written by Cole Porter. Popular songs from the musical include “You’re the Top,” “I Get a Kick Out of You,” and “Anything Goes.”

    Because Porter was a homosexual, we can conclude that ‘anything goes’ was also his philosophy of life. Many atheists have adopted the song as a description of their “moral” code.

Getting the message yet?

  • Sex
    1. The process by which offspring are conceived.
    2. Another term for gender.

Again, that’s the entire entry. But it says so much, don’t you think?

75 Comments

75 thoughts on “Conservapedia”

  1. Huh?? There’s no longer any entry for sex??? I just hope that with this deletion of sex from their collective vocabulary, they’ll hopefully soon forget “The process by which offspring are conceived.” and just go the way the dodo did …

  2. > they’ll hopefully soon forget “The process by which offspring are conceived.”

    No such luck. Ignorance about sex just means that instinct takes over. This helps explain why the “red states” have the highest rates of teen sex, out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and abortion in the nation.

  3. Since I’ve somehow managed to have escaped atheism’s dirty laundry list of aberrant behaviors, I can only surmise that I must be an anomaly of sorts amongst atheists.;)

  4. Cynthia,

    You mean you haven’t murdered millions of innocents? Anomaly indeed. 😉

    e.

  5. Not to defend it, but you must have caught it on a bad day, because none of the entries you listed were the same on the site, including (and especially) the part about atheism adding to crime, pregnancy, etc.

  6. Elliot, hate to admit it, but I certainly wasn’t talking about the drug use and the pre-marital sex kinda aberrances.;)

  7. Wow, I never knew just how much metrial john stewart and stephen colbert get!!

    still, extremely worrying that even if 5% of americans believed this, that it would be more people than some small countries….

  8. You clearly have an anti-liberal, anti-jew, anti-freedom of belief agenda. Albert Einstein’s Theory of relativity is directly related to the physics behind the atomic bomb and the multiplication of energy upon fusion of mass using nuclear particles.
    http://www.doug-long.com/einstein.htm

    Stalin defeated Hitler after a very long and taxing battle. Try picking up a history book and actually reading something before you begin to rant. Also, Marxist-Leninism according to Marx’s manifesto requires a community to co-operate and support each other, not lay around and simply sharing everything.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marxism#Structural_Marxism
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Barbarossa#Outcome

    All I ask is that you do some research and open your eyes before you go promoting propaganda that isn’t true. Thanks.

  9. Wow! I think I found the longest article on Conservapedia while hitting the ‘Random Article’ button a few times!

    http://www.conservapedia.com/Was_it_wrong_for_him_to_allow_the_attack_in_order_to_wake_up_the_American_public_and_motivate_Americans_to_fight_and_win_the_war%3F

    Here’s the top part of the article:

    Was it wrong for him to allow the attack in order to wake up the American public and motivate Americans to fight and win the war?
    From Conservapedia
    Jump to: navigation, search

    Absolutely not. The attack was necessary to gird the hearts and loins of patriotic but unmotivated Americans to win the war against un-American forces. The 3000 innocents killed were a tragic loss, to be sure, but without them a terrible dictator would still be gassing his own people, and developing weapons to use against us. These are the terrible but necessary choices a Commander-in-chief must make.

    Bob

    Did he really?! I havn’t heard of this but will research it. If he did know thEn he was wrong.

    After that, you learn that the, er…. intellectuals…. over at Conservapedia are talking about the bombing of Pearl Harbour, and the discussion continues badly from there.

    Real gems these are, no?

  10. It’s got to be a joke. Check the entry on Jesus.

    http://www.conservapedia.com/Jesus

    And I quote:

    The name Jesus is simply the name “Joshua” translated first into Greek, then English. In Christian discourse, the name Jesus almost always refers specifically to Jesus of Nazareth, believed by Christian followers to be God’s dad, who came to earth as a human c 2 AD. However, God has recently revealed on His blog that Jesus is actually His nephew, not His son. [1]

    No serious relligiously conservative enclyclopedia could have this on what has to be one of its main pages.

  11. Jesus is his nephew?? So, was this god dude having sex
    with his sister-in-law? I’m confused.

    Seems to me the only reason the nutters take the bible
    as an authoritative text is that it has been in print.
    All stories passed by word of mouth from generation
    to generation are clearly only ‘myths’.

    As for Pearl Harbour, facts known to the Japanese for 120 years have recently entered the popular press that
    the US (and other European) navies used to sit off
    Japanese cities and shell civilians and houses until
    christian missionaries were allowed entry by the Shogun.

    “Give me christianity or give me death” Right?

  12. Pingback: Washington Square News

  13. I’m really bummed that you cannot create an account. Their friggin’ documentation still tells you how to do it. Reminds me of the Southern Baptist Convention web site, immediately after Lonnie Latham (pastor of Southern Tulsa Baptist Church and executive of the organization) was arrested trying to give a blowjob to a cop – their site had blank spots where they had yanked his name, photo and credentials, but left the frames. Very funny.

    Hey – why isn’t there a page for “Lonnie Latham” on conservapedia? There certainly is one on wikipedia. And I, for one, am DISGUSTED at the liberal slant facts have, as reported by Stephen Colbert.

  14. The entry on France is worth the price of admission alone – that of course being absolutely squat. I was expecting screeds on hyperliberalism and defeatism in the War on Terror, and I get this.

    http://www.conservapedia.com/France

    “A country in Europe. Thrived during the middle ages. The capitol is Paris, France, which was founded in the Middle Ages.”

    I’m going to close that site now before I die of LOL and fail my thesis.

  15. #38 Paul Schmit

    Btw, has anyone wondered why exactly mainstream Western religion posits that the universe is ~10,000 years old?

    I think this has to do with the fact that 10,000 years ago the Ice Age ended. After that period there was a population explosion, rise of civilizations etc. The stories about life in the Ice Age would not be relevant to the people anymore and would not be transferred to the next generation.

    When people thousands of years later try to reconstruct history based on known stories, then that reconstructed history starts about 10,000 years ago.

  16. Here’s the current entry on Sex:

    This page has been deleted, and protected to prevent re-creation

    No page. Sex doesn’t exist at all so far as conservapedia is concerned. Try as they may, I doubt they can prevent sexual recreation. Head in the sand may be their only form of protection.

    On other news, love doesn’t exist either.

  17. Ya know, the young-earth creationist moron faction does not quite cover all conservatives. No more than Shining Path Maoists should be accepted as examples of “liberals.” These folks are an embarrassment to any faction they adhere to.

    Most Conservatives deeply resent these fools using their label. Even most Christians view them as nutters. al-Christa, if you ask me.

  18. Some Australian dude

    That website is simple bullshit. If Conservapedia was the primary source of information in today’s world, we’d have a generation of kids that won’t know what sex is. That generation would probably die out due to lack of procreation.

  19. This is priceless – and yet very, very scary. I think someone above said something like ‘if 5% of americans belive this…’, i get the distinct impression that its nearer 25% (including those who are uneducated enough to learn via a miosis of bigoted, fundamentalist thoughts). Can we all pool our collective objective and ‘liberal’ minds together to set up “anythinggoes.org” and see how riled we can get these poor misguided fools?

    Also may i just flag up the Dinosaur entry – namely

    “There are a number of lines of evidence that point to dinosaurs and man co-existing… explorers have reported seeing a live dinosaur” – and “Fossils: The preserved remains of once-living organisms.”

    Thank goodness, and what a relief. I grew up being told by my conservative-christian friends that dinosaur remains and fossils were merely put on earth by God to test us. At the very least i can sleep a little easier at night in the knowledge that he isnt a trickster God. Phew.

Comments are closed.

Scroll to Top