Longtime Preposterous readers know that some time ago I endorsed Barack Obama for our open Senate seat here in Illinois. At the time, I thought the alternative would be Republican Jack Ryan, who was most famous for having been previously married to an actress. But, as we all know, Ryan had to drop out after some messiness involving Paris sex clubs (always more trouble than they are worth, take my word for it). And now it looks like charismatic talk-show host Alan Keyes might be our new Republican nominee. Like everyone else, I always took Keyes for a complete nutcase. But perhaps I was wrong. According to his own website, Alan Keyes:
- Is widely considered the most formidable defender of America’s founding principles in today’s political arena.
- Is generally conceded to be the winner of the 2000 Republican Presidential Debates, due to his remarkable eloquence and persuasiveness.
- Has demonstrated exceptional ability to educate his fellow citizens about America’s founding ideals, upon which we as a people must stand if we are to survive as a free nation.
- Is capable of leading our country to widespread moral and political renewal, once all of America has a chance to see and hear, first-hand, his self-evident brilliance.
Pretty impressive, you have to admit. By the way, “self-evident” means “evident, apparently, only to one’s self,” right?